- Peter, Jonny and Bob are on a camping trip in a nondescript forest in the South Island of New Zealand. While bushwhacking, they find themselves transported to another dimension. The world is strangely different from New Zealand yet almost exactly the same.

- The trio happen across the hut of a man they all know as The Wizard of New Zealand. A real life celebrity from their hometown who preaches wizardly things in the town square. It turns out he is actually a very important figure in this world the boys have discovered. He is acting head of the Dukehood (basically a parliament sort of thing). The Wizard reveals to the trio the true nature of what has happened to them and where they are. He says that he believes they did not discover Fogsdown by mere coincidence and that they are the Trifecta spoken of in ancient myth. He advises them to travel to Old Providence, the capitol city of the country, and present themselves to the Dukehood. The Wizard seems very troubled and gives the trio supplies and a map and vanishes into thin air, leaving an echoing message. He feels the coming storm.

- The trio start their long journey to the East coast of Neadland. While navigating the wild lands of Fogsdown, they see giant mushrooms, large flightless birds (not unlike the Moas of Aotearoa) and what Bob believes is the silhouette of a half-man half-bird. Art Venturis, an adventurer nearly as old as the Wizard (but looks 40-ish), confronts the boys. He informs them he was sent by the Wizard to help them make their way to Old Providence. The trio hits it off with this vibrant character, however, Art confesses that their arrival in Fogsdown worries him significantly and that he is scared the whole balance of the world will be thrown off.

- Once arriving in the Babylon-esque city of Old Providence, the group is met by the cheerful Dukehood, who present the Trifecta with a gift each. A weapon to symbolise each of them: Bob - Mace, Jonny - Axe, Peter - Warhammer. The weapons are encrusted with green coal and have intricate engravings. Despite presenting the Trifecta with these gifts, a few dukes are not convinced that Bob, Jonny and Peter are the same three individuals mentioned in the Wizards prophecy. The trio is given a place to stay while the Dukehood discuss the ramifications of the last few days.

- The boys have a few weeks of relaxation in Old Providence. While sleeping peacefully in their lavish rooms, the city is attacked by the Red Militia, a group that feels that the government/church/system is to blame for the destruction of the floating city Red. They believe that if the gods allowed for the volcanic island to blow its top, then the gods are not worth worshipping and thus, a government supported by the gods (who do in fact exist) should be destroyed. They’re very bitter at the way the government and the gods handled the crisis and want compensation. The battle for Old Providence carries on for an entire week with many casualties on both sides. The Trifecta, initially hesitant to fight in a war they know nothing about, are thrown into thick of the battle after Red soldiers infiltrate Venturis’ estate and attempt to kidnap him. The kidnappers succeed and Venturis disappears into the night as the Trifecta fight for their lives.

- The Trifecta now commit themselves to the side of Fogsdown and are sworn in as honourary Captains of the Fog Corps. There is a celebratory ceremony for the Trifecta. Yerhet, Duke of Dolphinsbury reveals himself as the leader of the Red movement and using magicka not of his own, teleports heavily armed soldiers (who are also carrying a magicka-flux weapon) into the Dukehood courtroom. Yerhet claims Fogsdown belongs to him and his people, however, Yerhet is interrupted when he is possessed by an individual claiming to be “the King”. The King demands the Wizard and the Trifecta give up and let themselves be taken into custody. Failure for them to do so would result in the destruction of Old Providence.

- The Wizard decides to fight back against the King and unleashes his magicka upon Yehret and the elite soldiers, exiling them to a barren dimension. Though Yehret is gone, the King’s voice booms throughout the entire city. He says that he doesn’t need magicka-flux weaponry to take out the city and all that jazz. He engulfs the city in flames. The Dukehood all burn to death except for the Wizard, who managed to escape with the Trifecta. Through and undergound tunnel system, the Wizard guides the Trifecta out of the city and urges them to take the First Laid Stone of Old Providence to New Providence in the North Island (Ashland canonically) so that the prophecy can be completed. The Trifecta feel they are obligated as they just witnessed thousands die etc. The Wizard must leave but he tells them to visit his good friend and fellow magicka user (name) while on their journey so that they might learn the ways of magicka to further help their mission. The Trifecta leave the burning wreckage of Old Providence with heavy hearts.

-

Green coal - A mystical element discovered by the great Fogsman adventurer, Art Venturis 57 years ago. One large piece of green coal can sustain the steam requirements for the entire city of New Providence for 120 days. Currently, there are 100 large pieces of green coal in Fogsdown (and an indeteminable amount of small pieces that people use on a day to day basis). There have been three major wars over control of all the green coal since its discovery. After the third war, it was agreed that a steam pipe system be built to supply power to all the major centres in Fogsdown freely. Official green coal power is used by 60% of the population. The rest of the population, living away from major towns, utilize their own green coal systems.

Old Providence/New Providence - Fogsdown’s two largest cities. Old Providence (formerly Providence) is the seat of the Fogsdown governing body and the “official” capital city of the country. New Providence is a more modern city and is much larger than Old Providence. New Providence is considered the cultural capital of Fogsdown. To use a real world comparison, New Providence is the New York of Fogsdown. Old Providence is the educational / military / govt centre and New Providence is the arts / technology / commerce centre. Get it? No?

Ashland - Geographically exactly the same as New Zealand’s North Island, Ashland differs from its real world counterpart in that its many volcanoes are all active, making the island, well… Ashland. Ashland is the home to New Providence and Nevergrad, two major city centres. Dolphinsbury and the floating city of Red were destroyed by the two sister volcanoes in the Gulf of Daggers 20 years prior to Fogsdown’s discovery by the Trifecta.

Neadland - Fogsdown’s equivalent of the South Island. The cradle of life in Fogsdown (Ashland was settled by Neadlanders ~1000 years ago), thus the name Neadland (Nead = Nest in Irish Gaelic). Neadland is much more like its real world counterpart than Ashland. The volcanoes of Neadland are all dormant just like the real world. The island is much better at sustaining flora and fauna because of this - giant sized plants, trees and mushrooms are not uncommon. The home of Old Providence and several other cities.

Garudans / Aquilans - Birdmen of Neadland. There are two sub-groups of these birdmen, the Garudans, who follow the word of the Dukes (and in turn, the word of the gods) and the Aquilans, those who reject the Dukes and live independently as a shamistic warrior culture. To put it simply, Garudans believe in following their human part, whilst the Aquilans like to be a bit more bird than man. The Aquilans follow a religion separate from that of the Garudans/Fogsmen that requires worship and sacrifice. The three Aquilan gods are the eagle (represents war, honour and introspection), the swan (represents happiness, family and respect) and the vulture (represents timing, music and cunning). The Birdmen were in both Neadland and Ashland thousands of years before the Fog ever set foot out of the Emerging Woods. Though there have been a number of wars between the Fogsmen and the different Bird nations, there is no significant animosity between to two peoples and they wilfully coexist. Both peoples have deep set respect for one another, regardless of Fogsman, Garudan or Aquilan allegiance. They’re all good buds nowadays.

Magic - When the Fogsmen emerged from their eternal forest, they unknowingly brought magic to Fogsdown. Once the barrier between the forest and Fogsdown was pierced, energy surged into the very fabric of Fogsdown, imbuing it with, well… Magic. The teaching of magic has existed almost as long as magic itself and there are two varying options when studying magic: the Institution of Arcane Arts or the University of the Universal. The Arcane and the Universal are also the two variations of magic use in Fogsdown. The rival schools believe their form of magic is better and there have been many arguments throughout history. Arcane magic is what you’d consider conventional magic if magic were conventional, where the user takes control of raw magic and casts it in his or her image. With Universal, the user is a beacon or vessel to an immense wave of magic that the user manipulates with their personality and desires.

Also, Mattias gets back in Chur Chur tonite. That’s awesome like herpes cream.

In celebration of such an event, I decided to write something nice and lovely (I’m writing this on the fly so it’s probably bad but it has the word “penis” in it):

As I reached to the back seat of my 1981 Pontiac Firebird to get my smokes, I noticed the ever familiar stench of the vile Reg Franklin waft into my air conditioning unit. That fucker stinks so bad that it gets inside my car. The fuck’s up with that? Anyway, I reluctantly slid out of my off-beige-almost-brown-nigh-exotic sports car and approached Reggie, who was poised in the middle of the road with what appeared to be a human testicle in each hand and a recently castrated penis in his mouth.

“Peter, my friend!”, the former private eye muffled through his penis filled mouth, “I have something for you!” His eyes gazed at me intently through a shit tangled grey mop of a hairdo.

“Jesus Christ, Reg, look at you.”, I quickly responded and then inquisitively asked, “Are you wearing my fucking ex-wife’s skin for trousers?”

“Uh, maybe, sonny, maybe! I have something for you!” I always hated when he repeated himself. Schizophrenic asshole.

“Okay, okay, what the fuck is it?”

“This.”

“What?”

“This.”

Reggie started straining and wiggling around like a senile man with Parkinson’s trying to recreate the jitterbug of yesteryear. He forcefully spat the former beef battering ram out of his mouth. It hit the rusting hood of my Firebird with a sound that could only be described as “fuck”. The testicles had a much less favourable fate as they exploded from the extreme pressure that Reg’s hands were now applying. Testicle blood everywhere. It reminded me of last year’s ill-fated Christmas party. I still limp from that.

“Reggie, what the fuck are you doing?”

“This.”

At that very second, Reginald Franklin’s sixty year old bowls exploded as they shot volatile excrement out of Reg’s worn butthole at an alarming rate. The skin trousers that I perceived to be made from my ex-wife’s hide were now filling up with snot coloured diarrhoea.

I couldn’t help myself.

I dropped trough and started masturbating furiously. He really had something for me. Something I could use. Not since Vietnam had this kind of urge come over me… And we all know how Vietnam turned out. It was only a minute before I felt a primal orgasm comparable to Thor Himself’s stirring in my loins. I half-sprinted half-hobbled to the side of the road and grabbed the first face I could and stuffed my busting rod in as far as I could.

My whole body shuddered as I sent litre upon litre of semen coated maggots into the stomach of who I now realised was a nun.

I promptly returned to my car and drove home to my loving wife and kids. Then the universe imploded.

Then I came again.

What the fuck did I just write?

Real life should stop stealing from Prosperity canon.

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SPIDER! SPIDER! SPIDER!

Originally uploaded by 史黛普．王

I wasn’t aware that someone had sent a camera into my dreams. This picture is haunting to say the least. I’ve had a dream in foggy hills covered in grass with animal people. Pretty much exactly like this picture. The dream ended badly though. Very badly.

A lot of that dream has inspired parts of Fogsdown so I guess this picture is Fogsdown research… Speaking of Fogsdown, I have a post of notes that I’m going to publish sometime. Sometime.